Relationships can change a lot once children and family responsibilities become part of everyday life.
You may feel as though you and your partner spend most of your time talking about the children, household jobs, schedules and what needs to happen next. There may be disagreements about parenting, difficulties communicating or resentment about who is carrying most of the responsibility.
Perhaps you feel unsupported or misunderstood, or like you're managing everything yourself. You might find yourself avoiding difficult conversations, saying yes when you really mean no, becoming more reactive than you'd like or withdrawing because it all feels too hard.
You may still care deeply about your relationship while also wondering what has happened to the connection you once had.
When you're not sure what you want anymore
Sometimes relationship difficulties become harder to ignore as children grow and family life changes.
You may realise that somewhere amongst raising children and managing everyday life, you and your partner have become more like co-parents than a couple. Resentment may have gradually built because you've been carrying more of the parenting or household load, or the way you once managed things together simply isn't working anymore.
You might be thinking, My partner just doesn't get it, or wondering how to explain what you need without creating another argument.
For some people, the questions go further. You may be wondering whether this is still the relationship you want, while also worrying about what any change could mean for you and your children.
It can leave you caught between wanting things to be different and being unsure what you actually want to happen next.
Making sense of what's happening for you
I don't provide couples counselling, but I can support you individually to explore what's happening for you within your relationship.
You don't need to come to counselling having made a decision about your relationship, and I'm not going to tell you whether you should stay, leave or what your relationship should look like.
Instead, we can look at your own experience. What are you feeling? What do you need? What has become difficult to communicate? Where might boundaries need to change? What is within your control?
Counselling can help you better understand your emotions and reactions, communicate more clearly, speak up about what you need and feel more confident in your own decisions.
For some people, that may mean finding ways to rebuild connection, friendship and intimacy or having clearer conversations about parenting and responsibilities. For others, it may be about working out what they actually want from their relationship and what matters to them moving forward.
You don't have to have that figured out before you begin.
