Parenting can involve carrying a great deal
Alongside raising children, there may be work, relationships, household responsibilities, finances, caring for ageing parents and all the everyday things that need your attention.
When you're used to looking after everyone else, your own needs can gradually become the thing that gets pushed aside.
You might feel overwhelmed or exhausted, find yourself constantly worrying or overthinking, or notice you're reacting to things in ways you don't like. Maybe you're snapping more quickly, struggling to switch off or feeling guilty that you're not coping better.
Or perhaps life has changed. Your children may need you differently now, a relationship may be changing, work may no longer feel right, or you may simply have reached a point where you're wondering, What do I actually want now?
Sometimes, it's difficult to even know what's wrong. You just know you don't quite feel like yourself anymore.
When you've spent a long time being the one who copes
Many of the parents I work with have spent years taking responsibility, managing what needs to be done and making decisions around everybody else's needs.
And somewhere along the way, you can start to feel like you're running on empty.
You might find yourself saying yes when you really mean no, avoiding difficult conversations or feeling responsible for keeping everything running. You may feel lonely even when there are people around you all the time, or miss the friendships, interests and parts of your life that used to feel like yours.
And there can be guilt in admitting any of this. You might think, I should be able to handle this myself. You may have a family or life you wanted and wonder why you aren't happier. Spending time or money on yourself can even feel self-indulgent when you're so used to putting other people first.
Counselling that makes room for you too
Counselling gives you somewhere to talk about what's happening for you, not only what is happening with your children or family.
I won't tell you what you should do or make decisions for you. Instead, I can help you make sense of your thoughts, emotions, reactions and the circumstances you're dealing with. We can look at what's contributing to how you're feeling, what matters to you and what you might need now.
That may mean learning to manage worry and strong emotions differently, feeling more confident setting boundaries or expressing what you need, or working out what you want from the next stage of your life.
Ultimately, I want to help you gain a clearer sense of what matters to you, feel more confident in your own decisions and feel more connected with yourself again, while making more room for the people and things that matter to you.
You deserve support too.
